Holy Week.

March 25, 2013  •  1 Comment

 

A year ago I was there, in the hospital, when Margaret Virginia (Maggie) was born.  It was my second live birth to witness, and it was a miracle. Unbelievable.  Incredible.  Awesome.  I can't even begin to express the gratitude I feel to be able to witness and document such things.  I'm not a photographer by trade, people.  I'm a photographer by grace.  This is the way my soul speaks- through my lens. So. Grateful.

A year ago I was also lost at sea.  Not literally.  But mentally.  And emotionally.  It was a nervous breakdown, said my doctor. A depressive episode. Here- have some medicine.  It will turn you into a soul-less zombie, but it will take away the pain.  And it did.

I stayed in bed.  I cried.  I slept.  My husband took care of me, my kids, and my house.  Sometimes I selfishly begged God to take me.

We left our church.  We left our Sunday School class.  It seemed like the end.  I didn't know what to do.  I felt as if I had fallen into a dark, black pit with no way out.

But God is faithful to complete what He's started in us who have put our hope and trust in Him for our salvation.  Nothing I do is good. But God who gave His life so that I may live stayed by my side.  He gently reminded me that He is all that I need.  He quietly and supernaturally helped me to forgive, even when I felt justified in my anger.  He laid down with me when I couldn't get up.  And then He began to put my life back together- and each new piece was a reminder of His grace.  

Give thanks to the Lord of lords.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.

His faithful love endures forever.  

Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights-

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 136:3-7

God taught me to give thanks in all things and for all things- not just for the high points but for the low points.  Not just for what our world defines as blessings, but for EVERYTHING.

This week is Holy Week.  How fitting that Jesus broke bread, asked us to do this in memory of Him, and GAVE THANKS- all while knowing how the week would end.

Here is Maggie, one year later.

_MG_3480

I am grateful.  I am grateful for panic attacks and a husband who holds our family together.  I am grateful for old friends who have words that heal and new friends who remind me it's ok.  I am grateful for a heavy camera which peeks into moments and allows me to capture them- to speak from my soul. He gives and takes away.  Thanks be to God.

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Eucharisteo.

 

 


Comments

1.Cheryl Reynolds(non-registered)
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for opening your heart and your story - may God continue to bless you in this journey!

(friends with Audra Couchman :)
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